D e – l a y

By Molly Gillis

It took three weeks to tell the truth. Sometimes it takes much longer. And most times, it never happens.

I ADMIT IT. I LOVE DELAYING THE INEVITABLE AT ALL COSTS.

Yes. Certain things are going to happen today. Waking up. Doing that reading due in t-minus 6 hours. Going to that doctor’s appointment. Meeting that friend for lunch. Going to this irrelevant place to the next.

Doesn’t it seem like there are so many things going on, lining up in front of us, that it’s like we don’t have to do anything ? It all begins happening to us?

HMMMM GOOD IDEA how about we exercise the one control we have over our lives.

I’m sorry hold on I’m going to get a snack.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..


(twenty minutes later)
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sorry. I’m back. I just had to watch another episode of 30 Rock on Netflix. I love television.
I was saying something really valuable about delaying the inevitable. The truth is, I’m not sure what value there is in describing an observation about my own terrible habit. Mostly because it means revealing that I am a PSYCHO.

Pushing the truth you don’t want to tell someone as far away as humanly possible (no matter how small….because trust me, it gets REALLY small) just seems easier. A lot of things seem easier than being honest with someone.

Push back push back push back all the things we don’t want to be doing or don’t think we can do or don’t “have time do to” (there is that 6-7 hour sleeping window) and we can just dance in the land of suspension. Suspending in time moving far far away as our future is coming towards us.

If I’ve learned anything from Richard Foreman (let’s make it about art since that’s all that matters), it’s the delicious and borderline sadistic pleasure in fucking with time and the erratic suspension of it.

What will happen when something that is supposed to occur at one time never does when it is expected? I imagine it’s like shocking your brain just a little.

Dance in suspension land and I can continue being late forever and never doing what I’m supposed to do when and can live trying to escape the present.

Yes. Certain things are going to happen today. I will do my reading five minutes before it’s due, reschedule my doctor’s appointment for next week, raincheck on that lunch date, and submit this blog entry much later than I should.

WHY?

DELAY DELAY DELAY.

An answer would be the inevitable. Right?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s