March: A Tricky Little Fucker

broken black umbrella

Image by teaeff via Flickr

By Ariana DiLorenzo


It started beautifully, admittedly a bit cold, but we had a few glorious days of warm sun and cool breezes. THEN, it snowed. No, it rained? I think it was some sort of sleet. It was awful.

And every day, weather lamenting could be heard in doctor’s office waiting rooms, on cigarette breaks and in elevators all over New York City.

“Isn’t this the strangest weather we’re having?”

But here’s a bit of reality New York: THIS IS NOT STRANGE WEATHER.

Look, I’m not blaming anyone for thinking its weird, I’m right there with you. We all have March amnesia. It’s a disease.

Every year, in the dark days of February, after that poor ground hog has been subjected to that awful day, he recoils into his hole and we all rejoice that spring is coming soon. And March is just around the bend. But March is never spring. We expect birds to chirp and we place our jackets back in our closets, but every year, like clockwork, March is cold, it is damp, and it is still winter. And every year we are always surprised that spring didn’t come. We thought, “it’s coming!” What happened?

Nothing happened. It’s always like this. You just forgot. Because April came next and it got warmer and we put our aviators on and the terrible March days were but a distant memory.

This type of amnesia does not just apply to March. It applies to all expectations. We make plans all the time. Little ones, like meeting a friend for dinner on Thursday. And big ones, like moving across the country for your dream job. But THEN (similar to the situation with our dear friend March), an entirely different course of events takes place.

You plan on meeting your friend but your roommate forgot her keys so you have to stop at home to let her in the apartment and on your way there the L train is delayed, so you’re stuck underground. By the time you get out of the subßway and call your friend, she says “no big deal,” she got tied up at work anyway. You end up spending the night eating cereal for dinner and watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall and it’s awesome.

Some sort of similar event happens with big life plans but I imagine you get the point, so no need for an example.

ANYWAY, the greater point I’d like to make is not that things don’t always go as we expect, we all know about that. It’s that we are always surprised when this phenomenon occurs. No matter how many times our plans end up happening differently then we envisioned, we are always a bit beside ourselves about just how differently things turned out than we figured they would.

And it not like we’re less surprised the second or even third time this nutty event happens. We are equally surprised every time things don’t go the way we thought they would. We never learn, we always forget and life always reminds us that some things are just out of our control, like March.

So next year, February will come. It will be so cold and the thought of March will give you hope. (Maybe it will be different this time!) And just like the year before, March will swoop in with a smile on its face, like a nasty little child after he has just kicked you in the shin. And it will not be warm. It will sleet all over you and you will curse that little fucker, because you imagined things going so differently.

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